Poetry Shmoetry

For me, Poetry is to the rest of writing as Curling is to Hockey. I admire the ambition and intense training that goes into a great group of Curlers, however I find their sport to be a bore to play and even more boring to watch. Now Hockey, there's a sport with some action, some thrill, a little suspense and every now again a drunken brawl- there's something I can pay attention to. So what's so different about the two? They both have ice, circular objects, sticks with different stuff attached to the end, and it takes at least a couple people to play both of them. But as with poetry vs. the wrest of the literary world, it comes down to ability to reach out to a broader audience.

Poetry takes more talent with words than I will ever know, and I can truly say that humbles me. Some of the best fiction and non-fiction writers could also pen out some pretty amazing shit that rhymes; and that takes skill. For me though, Poetry is a little beyond my radar as I do not fully understand all the complexities and subtle inflections that every poet worth their salt knows how to wield. It is with this limited understanding that I come to see poets and their readership as somewhat of an elitist secret club with 50 lines of Shakespeare's Iambic pentameter known by heart as the password. I've come to characterize people who enjoy poetry as the same type of person who has a favorite band that no one's ever heard of and only watch movies which never made it to the US. This type of person sees the world with a different pair of eyes, modern day treasure hunters who seek out that which sparkles in places unknown just to be able to say they were there to see it first. I can understand this, but I lack the will power for that kind of adventure, a shortcoming of mine i suppose.

Admittedly if it were not for my education I would never pick up a book of poetry on my own accord- just to enlighten myself a little bit. That being said, I am thankful for every teacher who has shoved a couplet in front of my face, because without their diligent efforts they would have lost another sheep to television and video games (Though I enjoy both very much).

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When looking for a new book I can usually rely on Oprah Winfrey to guide my literary interests. Her infallible knowledge of the written word and her credit as an award winning talk show host with a historically epic philanthropic spin make her my guiding light in this dark, dreary, ugly world of novels. Fortunately for those of us incapable of rational thought or decision making skills, Ms. Winfrey is kind enough to let us know what is good, and what is trash, a heavy burden which she carries solidly atop her stout frame. God's praise be with Oprah Winfrey, and her power to singlehandedly turn an unknown chump into a millionaire with the production of her Television show.

alright seriously though, when I'm looking for a new book I tend to first exhaust the catalog of whatever writer I have been reading lately.Then when I'm good and desperate and there's absolutely nothing on TV after 3 cycles through all 150 channels and I've already checked all the websites I check daily and all of my homework is done... I take the first 12 novels I find on the homepage of Amazon, and write them down on index cards. from here I usually stab these cards to my wall and then throw spaghetti at it, the one with the most sauce wins. I've found this to be about as fair and balanced as it gets when trying to find a new inspiring work as there are so many fine candidates I can hardly wrap my mind around the task.